Here we are again. Sitting at my desk, in my house. Michelle and Katria are gone for an hour. Chelsey and Jared are at school. The quiet reminds me that I’m in a new life, and a new job. And the quiet causes me to think.
It’s May 5. And our plan is to drive away from Airdrie to move to Houston on July 5-ish. That means we have two months to finish off here and be ready for there.
That’s about how long our house has been on the market now. And it hasn’t sold yet. There is time still, and definitely it is not time to panic (how ever that looks in this situation), but I can’t help but remember the last time we tried selling our house. After about 8 months of waiting and having deals fall through we finally gave up. And of course, it turned out to be the correct move. But the 8 months of waiting and then finding out we had made a bad decision to sell and that we should’ve listened to some wisdom being offered early on to rent the house out? That sucked. But we learned some important lessons.
If I allow myself to dive into the “woe is me” frame of mind, I can easily become worrisome about the lack of a buyer. It’s not a fun place because it causes me to begin to doubt the power of God. And doubt is a strong word right now for how I feel, but the seeds are trying to plant and take root. I know better. But anyone who says they’ve never had these moments are liars or just plain impressive people.
There is still time. And there is still God.
The debate I have with myself on this is actually very similar to one I once saw two dogs have. One of them was certain that the head mob-dog in town was going to hear about the new bar owner-dog refusing to pay protection money. The bar owner-dog was questioning that perhaps the mob-dog wouldn’t hear.
“But what if he doesn’t?”
“Oh he will alright.”
This debate is also raging inside me in regards to our monthly finances. Our budget is approximately $4000 USD a month. This covers rent, health insurance, groceries, car expenses and all the little things that add up to living with a family of 5 in the US or Canada.
Right now, we have about 16% of that monthly amount committed to us by people willing to sacrifice a little of what they have to ensure we can pay our bills. In our most recent newsletter, we included a graphic to show how much of our monthly expenses we can currently afford to pay with the money committed. Right now, we don’t have enough to pay our monthly rent. So health insurance can’t happen. Feeding our children is a no go. Putting some money aside to come home to visit our families, or allow our children some fun like team sports or a day at the water park? Can’t happen.
It hurts to think like that. It’s not correct. Because I have seen miracles happen.
May 2009 – God finishes up a miracle of finances where we go from zero to a surplus of financial support while living in Mexico. He not only takes care of us, he takes care of other missionaries who are needy in this miracle.
March 15, 2007 – We receive a phone call that a little girl needs parents, and would we consider it. We did.
April 26, 2011 – I finish work after getting laid off, AFTER informing them that I am quitting.
(I would also add in Feb 12, 1999 and August 14, 1999. The days when the greatest woman in the world agreed to and then married me. Yes, that was a miracle.)
Now, there are a few things that we knew had to happen to make the move to Texas a little easier. And I believe that most people would agree that there was an order to the level of difficulty for them to actually happen.
1. (hardest/ most unlikely) – Leaving my job AND getting laid off. The leaving the job was the easy part. So if it was just doing that, it would’ve been the easiest/ most likely to happen. But getting laid off? That was so far off the “going to happen scale” that it wasn’t an option.
2. Raising full financial support
3. Selling the house
So the hardest thing has already happened. So we shouldn’t have any problems with the easier ones, right?
“But what if he doesn’t?”
And that’s my battle. Knowing that He will, but struggling to wait for it to happen.
Michelle just came home with Katria and one of her friends. So the quiet is over now. Which means I can stop thinking about this. 🙂 We would love your prayers on this though.