I thought we were going to be together forever.  It showed up out of nowhere about 364.25 days ago and never left me.  We did everything together last year.  Good times, bad times; everything.  The kids liked it, Michelle liked it, even all of my friends seemed to be incredibly comfortable with it.  There was nothing in my life that wasn’t complemented with its presence.

But, all of a sudden it left me.  One day it was here, the next it was gone.  Now it’s just a memory.  It’ll never come back no matter how hard I try and beg and plead and bargain.  Never.  I guess I just have to accept it.

But I’m going to be ok with you leaving me, 31.  Because if you can just disappear like that than I don’t need you.  Besides, I have 32 now and it is everything I’ve ever wanted.  It has promised to be good to me, and I will be good to it.  Together, we will achieve more than I ever could have with that, ugh, 31.

And 32 won’t just up and leave me like 31 did.  Never.

Tags: Family Updates // Add Comment »

And by that I mean a blog post.  It’s been a little while since I wrote down my thoughts.  I’ve had plenty of thoughts in the last couple of months, but I don’t think I am able to publicize them yet.  (This statement assumes that anyone besides Michelle and my mom read these things.)  So let’s see if I can squeeze out something to cause a new entry on people’s RSS feeds.

I need some music on, be right back.

Ahhhh, Hillsong: All of the Above.  Good choice.

So here’s a brief and vague summary of what has been going on in my life lately.  I’ve been facing some “difficult” challenges in regards to how I serve God.  I’ve tasted what true devotion to God is like, and it is good.  I’ve been challenged in my mind and heart to be completely sold out and dead to myself.  Alive to God and NOTHING else!  And I look at life in this place I am in and I wonder if it is possible to be fully in service to Him here.

First thought, the Great Commission commands each of us to go “into all the world”.  But many, well most Christians have interpreted that as staying home where it is comfortable.  “Hey, the bible says Jerusalem, Judea, and Samaria.  So I’m staying right here in my Jerusalem until it is reached.”  That’s a pretty common thought, right?  (I’m not saying this is wrong, maybe a little skewed though since the disciples were foreigners from Galilee in Jerusalem.  So even THEY had left their own culture).

But what I truly have been challenged is the idea that we have all been called to be involved in missions and so many choose to stay home.  So if I am completely willing to leave, is it possible that God would rather have me stay home?  I mean, how many are out there in Christendom that are actually willing to go?  The ones who want to go, should just go, right?

Is it possible that God is saying “I’m glad you want to go, Ryan, and it’s been noted on your file.  But you’re to stay home in Canada.”?  Is that possible?  I guess, since He is Almighty and all.  It just doesn’t seem likely to me.

And so I struggle on what our next step is.

Second thought.  I’ve agreed to join the leadership team for our church’s Contemporary Campus.  This is essentially a brand new church plant being formed out of the current established body and building.  In fact, it will look, meet and worship in pretty much the same way that our current assembly does.  But our goal is to establish a couple of new mindsets within the membership:

1. Church is not an event that you go to on Sunday morning.  It is not the one time in the week you set aside to worship God.  It is not the only “feeding” you get.  Worship is not to make us feel good.  In fact, there is nothing about church that is about you.  God and the lost are our priorities.  Worshipping God 24/7  because He is worthy is our goal.  Showing the world that God is real and worthy of worship is what we do.

2. The ministries of the church always need to be focused outward towards the lost.  We are not an establishment to serve ourselves and validate how “refreshing” a church service is.  Glorifying God by bringing the Gospel to those who have never heard it is our one and only ministry.  So every member of the congregation needs to have an active role in reaching out to the world.

2a. There are no seat filling ministries

3. The “old” way of doing church didn’t work.  Sure, some people got saved.  We got butts in seats.  But they stayed in those seats.  We need to get people to realize that we have a command from the Lord God Himself to reach the lost and the only way to accomplish this is to GET OUT OF THE BUILDING.  The lost see nothing in our church buildings, which is hurtful to think.  So it’s time to reimage what the church service is for and how it is just a part of the greater mission.

And so I wonder, how do I lead people to embracing these mandates?  Are there many people in our church today who will willingly accept these and kill everything in their lives that prevent them from fulfilling their purpose as Christians?

The parable of the fertile soil looms large here.  How many members of our churches, of “my” church are truly fertile soil?  When the instruction comes out to get to work and start finding the lost and telling them about Christ, will the growth inside of them wither and die?  Am I prepared to accept butts leaving seats and going someplace else more comfortable since we’d be left with the truly fertile ones?

How do we encourage, motivate or even flat out push people into this way of thinking?  Do I have the ability to be the leader that is needed for this endeavour?  Can I live up to the words I speak and write or will I be just one more big failure?

(Music break:  All I wanna do is worship You.  You are worthy, You are worthy Lord.  I will live for all my days to worship You.)

Ah, that puts it into perspective.  Thanks God.

I want to put so much more down here, but I can’t.  Privacy demands that I keep quiet on other topics until their proper time.  But I ask that you pray for Michelle and I as we seek the leadership of God moving forward.

Oh ya, next week we’re heading back down to Tlaxiaco for a little R&R&E&DC&BWG.  That’s Rest and Relaxation and Eating and Drinking Coke and Being With God.  We’re looking forward to celebrating the graduation of this year’s MTS class and assisting the Farr’s and Windham’s in cleaning up and getting ready to move to Houston to start the MTS there in the fall.  Interested in more?  www.globalfrontiermissions.org is a great place to start.

Wow, 1028 words of babbling.  Not bad, not bad at all.  And there’s a good chance of stuff flowing out of me once we’re in Mexico next week!

I meant words, not something related to how many tamales I am going to eat.

/RD

Tags: Missional Life // Add Comment »

I’ve been putting a lot of thinking into the decision making process lately.  And the overall process a Christian faces when learning how to give up all their rights and submit to God’s total authority in their life.  Not fun.  But SO worth it.

And I’ve been losing at poker lately.  And not my typical making it to the final two and losing.  This is all out, first hour, never saw a card over a 2 losing.  It sucks.  I am not a good loser.

(which is different than being a total loser, because we all know I am that!)

So of course, I’ve started to look at God as a poker player.  And the process of discerning what to do in a major decision as a poker game.  A heads up game: me versus God.  Both of us want to win, but only one can.

(queue inspirational music….now)

When you play poker, typically you are faced with trying to figure out if your hand is any good.  And if it is any better than the other guy’s.  You base this decision on how people bet, on what cards are coming on the flop, turn and river and by any “tells” that the other player has.

(I’m assuming everyone knows poker lingo.  I apologize if you don’t.  Google it.)

But how does God play His hand?  Let’s see if I can make some sense of this.

I’m holding two cards, God has two as well.  We both think we have a chance so we both call the blinds.  The flop comes down.

And it’s not bad.  I maybe hit a middle pair, nothing fantastic.  But it definitely has a chance.  My plans for my life are looking good!  I maybe bet a small amount.  God calls, or maybe raises a little.  Almost asking me, “Are you willing to keep believing your cards are better than mine?”  I’ll call that, it isn’t costing me too much.  I may even try to push back with my own raise as if to say “Please, my hand is easily better than yours.  You should respect what I’m doing here.” If I just play this properly, I will come out on top!

Then the turn card comes.

Uh oh, that’s not a card we wanted.  Now our hand isn’t looking so good.  But we’re committed here.  So I bet a little more, trying to impress on God that my plans are going just fine and He won’t be able to beat me here.  But he calls, or maybe even raises a little more.  Nothing big, just enough to not scare me away.  I may even start to think I’ve got him scared.  Silly me.

This is God slow playing.  I like to do it when I have a fantastic hand, but I don’t want to let on it is so good.  I know I’m going to get paid, but I want the other player to think he’s doing better than he really is.  This way, I make more money.

(God is really good at slow playing.  REALLY good.)

Meanwhile, I’m starting to look at Him for “tells”.  Those things that He may do to give away just how good a hand is.  Is He blinking, stamping His foot, unwilling to make eye contact? I need to know if I am in deep trouble, because I’m starting to think I am!

(God doesn’t have any tells.  Darn it.)

But I’m not going to fold.  I’m committed.  It could also be pride or stubbornness, but I’m not walking away from this hand.  If the river card could just go my way, then I’ll have it made!

And the river comes down.

And I know I am done for.  My hand is worthless, and I have bet a lot on it being worth something.  “But maybe He’s just as bad off as I am?” I think.  So I bet a little.  “This will scare Him off.”

Nope, God just bet it all.  He went “all in”.  Daring me to call Him and perhaps lose everything I have or fold and lose the amount I’ve already committed.  And it is a lot at this point.

This is the point in decision making and seeking the will of God where many of us fold.  Are we truly willing to give up all of our desires and plans?  Literally to die to ourselves and live however God wants?  Folding sure is easier; because then we don’t lose everything we have.  Just most of it.

Can you call the bet facing an almost certain loss?  God is daring you to push in your possessions, your family, your desires, EVERYTHING to match His bet.

You decide to call.  You have to see what His hand is because it must be amazing.

And this is where the poker metaphor kind of loses itself.  Because of course, God is going to win here.  And if it truly was a poker game you would lose and walk away empty handed and dejected.  You would see His cards, throw yours down and leave the table.  (I’ve done that a lot in poker games.)

But in this game you see His cards, muck yours and CELEBRATE!

Huh?

It gets better.  When it comes time to hand out the prize money, you are awarded the prize.  Somehow in this game the one who willingly puts all they have on the table facing a certain loss walks away the champion.  Richer than they could ever imagine.

This is the way I’m seeing our future.  I suspect we’re somewhere between seeing the turn card and before getting the river.  My plans are rapidly falling apart and I know God has a much better hand than mine.  But I have to keep going in this game; just to see what He has.

So when the river cards comes and God goes all in I pray that I won’t be too afraid to call.

Besides, I’m driven to follow the example of Christ.  Jesus was challenged the same way when God called Him to the cross for my sins.  God pushed all in and Christ called that bet willingly, lost the hand and changed the world and my life forever!

Praise the Lord I’m glad He did.

/RD

Tags: Missional Life, Missions Updates // Add Comment »

There’s a part in the movie “The Incredibles” where Mr Incredible sees a little kid staring at him.  So he asks the kid “What are you waiting for?”  The kid answers back,

“I don’t know, something Incredible!”

I think I can understand that thought.

I’ve found myself becoming increasingly unsatisfied with what my life looks like at the moment.  I can’t say there is anything in particular, it’s just the lack of…something.

Something.  But what?

I wish I knew what it is.  It could be a lack of excitement, it could be a dislike of the daily grind and all it’s “joys” (ugh, transit), or it could just be winter.  Winter is really making me angry this year.  I’ve always thought that the cold weather and snow is what made Canadians more manly than Americans; but after spending a year out of it?  I don’t care.  I am totally willing to give up frost bite, blizzards and frozen vehicles.  Yup, I am ready to leave the snow behind.

But anyways.  Back to the main idea!

A few months back we made a choice about out future and how we would be serving God at this time.  We were confident that we had followed His leading and direction.  But now, I don’t know.  I’m pretty sure I know, but there is a slight chance some doubt is creeping in.

I wonder if these feelings are God’s way of getting us ready for a change.  Or perhaps it is a spiritual attack to keep us from fully doing what we should be doing.  Or again, perhaps it is that stinkin cold weather.  Man, I wish I could figure it out.  But if a change is coming, I have to ask God:

“What are You waiting for?”

I’d sure love something big and amazing to happen.  Because I think I would be smart enough to figure out what to do afterward.  No guarantees of course!

In the meantime we keep slugging away.  Waiting for cool stuff.  Shouldn’t we see plenty of really cool stuff when we serve the Lord?  I think so.

[here's a question for you: If you believe in God, what is He capable of doing? Then if what He is capable of doing is not what you are seeing, why?]

[If you don't believe in God, pretend He exists and then ask the same question. ]

This has a good chance to be cool.  This weekend we are hosting a “celebracion de navidad” with our Latino house church/ bible study/small group.  Michelle is making a turkey and we’ve asked everyone else to bring something from their country.  We could have anywhere from us to 20 or more people.  We don’t know.  So we’re praying for lots of people.  And we’re praying for God to move.  The last thing we want is normal.

I’m so sick of normal.

Blow it up, God.  I’m ready.

What are You waiting for?

/RD

Tags: Missional Life // 1 Comment »

Wow, I am tired.  Up at 4:15 this morning to get to the airport and non stop flying (basically).  But let’s review yesterday a bit.  Cool God stuff.

We met up with some of the staff of Sugar Creek Baptist church (www.sugarcreek.net).  Pretty cool guys and we had a fantastic meeting.  There should be some cool partnerships built out of all this for GFM USA.  It’s not my place to say anything more.  As I was reminded many times, I was just the token Canadian.

And a pretty cool church building too.  I’m not always one for mega-churches, but if you have young kids you would LOVE this place.  You walk into the church and you see the TWO-storey slide as part of the huge kids play area.  (There is also a Starbucks that Windham loved.  But I couldn’t really care!)

At the end of the meeting, we ended up just praying for each other and the ministries represented there.  Unexpected and fantastic.  I knew I was coming down for fun, but between Sunday’s church service and this prayer time I also got some AMAZING time with God.

Traveling along with Dave and Dan while they house hunted was pretty neat.  There are some nice places in the area, very tempting to a Canadian who no longer can live in the cold.

(seriously!  I was maybe just starting to get used to the mild cold we’ve been having up here and then I went south for a couple of days.  I’m back now and AGAIN I can’t get warm.  Is this the pivotal winter where we decide where we’re going in the future?)

Sugar Creek is located in Sugar Land, which has a massive ethnic mix of peoples.  And you can tell.  Every nation is walking around this place.  And a few short blocks from the Sugar Creek campus is this Hindu temple.  Cool place to live near to when you’re teaching people a love and a passion to reach these peoples.

After prayer walking through a couple of other high ethnic areas we finally ended up at the Maple Leaf hockey pub for Dan’s birthday.  The place that claimed to play only hockey?  It was playing Monday Night Football.  And they turned off the Flames game that we were able to get on one TV.  Me = not impressed.  There was also a serious lack of hockey jerseys for a hockey pub, but I was pleased that there were two Flames jerseys and one Canada.  So there are some positive things there!

(I’m reading this and nothing sounds that exciting.  Perhaps I’m too tired to write (likely), or maybe it is that many of the things that were so incredibly fun cannot be repeated (more likely).  But we really did have a lot of fun.)

The trip home was tiring.  Like I said I was up early.  Got to the airport and checked in with plenty of time to spare.  After a quick breakfast I sat for a couple of hours for the plane to load.  But we boarded late.  Then we sat on at the gate and on the runway for an hour.  Which is a bad thing when you are only scheduled for an hour lay over in Minneapolis.

We finally landed in Minneapolis at about the time that my flight to Calgary was to have already started boarding.  And here was my dilemma. I had to use the bathroom.  Bad.  And I was hungry.  But I couldn’t figure out how I was to deplane, find my new gate which was most likely in another wing of the airport, pee and eat while making it onto my plane on time.  Peeing and eating were the two things that were gonna be cut from the list and I was not impressed with that.

(oh wait!  I need to tell the story of why I had to pee so bad, even though it makes me look like an idiot.  What do you mean that’s not tough?  Oh ya, it isn’t!)

With my breakfast I had a big orange juice and once I got on the plane in Houston I could already tell it was going to be an issue.  So when the drink cart came around I told myself that I wasn’t going to get anything.  Good thinking Ryan.

“Would you like a drink sir?”  Come on will power, don’t fail me now.

“Yes!  A Coke please.”  Um, wait a minute Ryan.

“Would you like a glass or the whole can?”  You can still get out of this without too much damage…

“The whole can please.”  Awwwwww man!  What was that?

And yes, I drank that whole can.  It was free and it was delicious.

Once I got off the plane I went as fast as I could up the jetway and found the nearest agent.  “Can you tell me what gate the Calgary flight is at?  It probably is too late for me to catch it but I thought I’d take a chance” I said.

“Certainly sir.  It is right over there at C6.”

Cool, I was at C4 at the moment.  And he mentioned that the flight had just started to board.  Thank you God!

I started heading over to the gate and then something caught my eye; the bathroom.  Oh man, I could spare the few seconds if they just started boarding.  Right?

Right.  Except instead of a few, it was more like 60.  A new record!  (and WAY too much information!)

Totally worth it though.

Running out of the can and to the gate I slow down and notice that no one is doing the mass panic rush line up like they usually do when boarding a flight.  In fact, no one was doing anything that resembled lining up.  So I asked the lady at the gate if the flight had already boarded.

“No sir” she said, “It is actually a little delayed for maintenance.  Why don’t you go grab a bite to eat?”

“I will TOTALLY do that” I replied.  And that Dairy Queen right next to my gate?  Perfect location.  I actually was able to order my burger, eat it and walk up to the gate just as they started boarding.

Yup, I’d have to say that it makes no sense to me how God’s existence can be denied.

Close gate?  Check.

Pee?  Check.

Eat?  Check.

Board flight to Calgary?  (with another free can of Coke) Check.

Love this God?  CHEEEEEEECK

So thanks to Dan, Dave, Grant, Chino and Ross for including me in this weekend.  Good times.  Too many farts, fart jokes, bodily function comments, sarcastic comments at the GPS giving confusing directions and various other things that shall go unmentioned.  And all of them were legendary.  This trip will need to be repeated sometime.

/RD

Tags: Random Stuff // Add Comment »